i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
