So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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