Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
