Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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