"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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