The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
