I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
