i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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