Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
