i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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