The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
