we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
