I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
