I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
