it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
