its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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