1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
