You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize