i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
