The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
