Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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