I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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