Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
