I wanna bring you to show and tell
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
