Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
