The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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