I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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