so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We left the knife in your bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
