I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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