I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
