Got a toothbrush?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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