i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
