I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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