a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
someone owes me an orgasm
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
