Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its about making memories worth repressing
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am available for nakedness
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
