so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
