I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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