Need sex. Gaining weight.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
