Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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