last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
