Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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