he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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