please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
