Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
