No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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