so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
