bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize