4 words: hood of his car
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
