how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
