Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
