if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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