My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
