DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
