Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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