Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
