This dress was meant to end up on your floor
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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