I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize