Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
