There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
4 words: hood of his car
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
