the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
