Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize