If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
