i think my tv is drunk
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
