all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
