I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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