she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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