Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
